Anthology of Etiquette and Terrifying Angels with Many Heads
by ghosts of Christmas Past, Christmas Present, and Christmas Future. Since he
didn’t learn about the meaning of Christmas a couple of polite but firm ghosts
met him. When this failed to teach James anything a couple of terrifying angels
visited him and scared the hell out of him. For thanks (and to avoid
retribution) James created this collection based off of those experiences. Each
piece, whether poem, story, or illustration, uses proper etiquette and pays
respects to terrifying angels with many heads.
M. Garr orbits a foreign city, taking samples. Her life as an internet angel is
admirable. Plucking people from obscurity and analyzing them is a beautiful,
wonderful thing to do. From afar one can see everything. Up close vision can be
instructs one how to live. Rather than end days, she extends them. God is the
light, angel believe this strong. Some get touched by angels. Everyone is holy
precisely once in life. When that happens varies from person to person.
Woods paints the portrait of a terrifying angel as a sad employee of a
combination Dunkin’ Donuts/Baskin Robbins. There is a reason Das Racist never
wrote a song about that place. People who go there go there to ease pain. Here
the terrifying angel is sad, hating its job, hating its life. At least it is blessed;
at least it is an angel with a car.
Rowan stays in a law firm. This law firm protects him from evil. One side
etiquette, the other side terrifying angels with many heads, the two work
together. For some reason etiquette took him to an amusement park. Both sides
have worked together since 1976 to prevent further evil from befalling the
Winnette has an unusual family. On one hand there is the thoughtful, caring
father who loves gravy. The other parent is a multi-headed, heat-bearing beast
known as ‘mother’ to Colin. Unfortunately family eating time is ruined by a
need to see. Poor Colin doesn’t want to see his lovely, hideous, caring
Peligroso slows down time to the pace of molasses. An entire moment takes three
single seconds. Yet everything happens in those three seconds. Baklava gets
ripped a new asshole in this highly riveting tale. Too bad Baklava has no
outlet to defend itself, condemned to be consumed by a girl with little
interest in it.
Czyzniejewski recalls a life of the sick and twisted angels. There they wait
for something to happen. A note has been sent. Nobody ever reads the note.
Rather they decide to eat pieces of wood with a blond haired man. Eventually
they are totally doomed due to their ability to consume and process wood.
Scapellato knows a lot about Thomas Jefferson. The guy did a lot for America.
Chilling down in Virginia he read all these books and built chairs. Often
objects transformed into naked ladies for Jefferson. That’s because he was so
eloquent. Much of the story deals with Jefferson trying and failing to grasp
onto reality, onto the morning, to believe in something, anything.
Schneiderman explains etiquette the only way he can: through the wisdom George
Washington referred to in his greatest days. Here Washington’s copy is
occasionally changed or edited to Terrifying Angels with Many Heads. This deconstruction
of civility appears to be most foul and impolite. Whatever though, Davis is no
Kitchell wants a love, a love beyond nostalgia, of the here and now. Here he
lies next to someone on a bed, on a beach, for some people the two are one of
the same. Sadly the angel no longer flies. Up does not exist for fallen angels.
To soar is no longer an option for those who want to stay here on Earth with
the beloved living. Zero holds everything and holds nothing. Used latex condoms
are the new balloon animals thanks to the recession.
Bell discusses the proper etiquette is wooing terrifying, multi-headed angels.
Apparently they are not the best of lovers. However they are trying. They still
have time. Perhaps before all that is known and unknown ends they may make
sufficient sweet lovers.
for the finale, the heavens on high to fall upon the Earth in a dramatic, literary
fashion for this overwhelming spectacle.