Crushes by Buttercup McGillicuddy
has been crushing pretty hard on the internet. The internet is a big beautiful
place. Feel I know people better on the internet than I do in real life.
Without the filters employed in real life people act more natural online versus
offline. When did Buttercup’s passion start?
is the beginning. In it Buttercup lays the groundwork for his crushes list.
This serves as a template. Whoever this little chapbook (long poem) is
dedicated to must be pleased I reckon. Buttercup pours his heart into this four
page PDF. I never knew PDFs could possess such beauty. Feel I understand what
Buttercup is saying. Glad Buttercup and I are EMO together. I am old enough to remember
when EMO was all about the crying rather than the haircuts. Wish EMO didn’t
fixate so much on the unhealthy obsession with haircuts. Crying uncontrollably
all alone is perfectly healthy. Crying alone shows you understand you’re fucked
and that’s the first step towards becoming a grown-up.
his uncontrollable crying Buttercup gains control of the chapbook. He explains
what is meaningful and not meaningful to him. Ladies Buttercup is single. Hope
he puts this chapbook up on his OK Cupid profile because let’s be honest, all
of alt lit is on OK Cupid, even Crispin Best. Truly online dating is the final frontier
for alt lit. Alt lit is about togetherness online and what is more together
than chatting with others for potential dating? Emoticons are the new feelings.
Get into it.
chapbook was insufficient. Buttercup did not get his point across. A list was
in order. On this list are some of the most relevant members of alt lit
alongside random people I don’t know. Whoever asked this question must be very
interested in Buttercup’s re-branded brand. Few know this but this is version
2.0 of Buttercup’s brand and it is stronger than it has ever been. Buttercup
1.0 was cute but Buttercup 2.0 is not joking bro.
describes people as the ever famous Ana Carrete, Opie Poi, Kendra Grant Malone,
Emily McDonnell, Kellie Hogan, Meghan Lamb, and Saya Weissman. Now I have no
problem with most of the list but Meghan Lamb, really? I mean Meghan Lamb is
married. Feel Buttercup is coveting thy internet neighbor’s wife. Wonder if
that is a sin. God thinks that’s cute since he stays up late answering OK Cupid
questions looking for the perfect mate.
people have everything? According to Buttercup a few possess everything. Megan
Boyle does have everything. I’ve met her. Let me just confirm Megan Boyle
bought my chapbook. That confirms her greatness. What’s stopping you? Chelsea
Martin, Sarah, Kitty Pryde I have no idea who these people are. Elaine Sun did
give me a coat when I was cold. In my book that makes her some kind of Texan
Jesus. Natalie Chin, Hillary Gardiner, and Ellen Frances finish off the list.
are so many categories. Interesting picks I enjoyed were the criminally
underrated Safy-Hallan Farah for ‘complex’. Safy is excellent. Read her work.
Educate yourself. Love what she does. Feel the passion she has for everything
she does. I probably should have mentioned her on this blog much sooner but eh,
whatever. Honestly she is a wonderful, warm person.
for Alice May Connolly and Stacey Teague. Hope they understand because I don’t.
Cassandra Nguyen (better remembered as the person shoved into a freezer for no
apparent reason) and Maggie Lee get the ‘badass’ qualification. Yes they are
badass. They are from New Jersey. New Jersey does not mess around. Happy to see
Sarah Jean Alexander here but sad to see she’s sad. Think she looks happy most
of the time. Neon Glittery gets ‘art’ which I think is completely appropriate.
She is a true artist.
categories, but I want to end it with the silliest one (to me). Bunny Holiday
and Victoria Trott get ‘Butt’. Along with these two is the critically
acclaimed, internationally recognized writer ‘Gabby Gabby’. Sure her words may touch
the very soul of America, whether in college or as an employee at Target, yet ‘Dat
ass’ is Buttercup’s primary concern.
Buttercup is extraordinarily interested in Gabby Gabby. She tweets how she
wants someone. Buttercup comes up to her and is all like ‘Hello, it’s me’ via
the Todd Rundgren. What she says is ‘you said that you didn’t have romantic
interest’. Buttercup’s reply is the online equivalent of ‘Let me type these
words and hope they are romantic as fuck. I’ll throw in a brick because why
not. Brick buildings are hot.’ Hope the two work it out. When Gabby asked ‘Should
Buttercup and I date. Is that what y’all want’ I favorite the eff out of that.
Go there now to favorite. Favorite is the new approval.
something works out for Buttercup. I heart Buttercup. He is more than another
pretty face on the internet for me. Buttercup is my friend IRL.