Have You Seen My Whale Issue #2
we close up this intense as heck exploration. Why not begin with one of the few
who have received a perfect score from one ‘IAMALTLIT’ a site I may or may not
have any particular sway over. In fact, IMALTLIT and I are close friends. That’s
why I am proud to open with Guillaume’s piece.
Morissette thinks about parties. Parties are fun in theory. In practice parties
are more difficult to determine. Can one have fun at a party? Or are they
disappointments? Guillaume uses top-notch analysis to give himself extreme
anxiety. That’s a New York kind of thing. Feel Guillaume would be a good New
Yorker as he over-analyzes things and worries constantly. His work is better
indifferent crowd he displays a pear. The sun is a pear. It grew on the
universe’s tree. Something a space squirrel will eat our pear sun. Prepare
O’Brien has a supportive mom. His mom believes he is a little slut. Few mothers
give their children that level of support. The room he sleeps in sounds gross.
Little green bugs eat dried up remnants of his let-go urges. Trunks are the new
Batchelder has people remember her from group therapy. She is on a bus. A
magazine across from her tells her the secrets to happiness. This is why I
never take buses. Buses get so preachy. When I travel I want people to look
sad, depressed and alone. That makes my trip better.
Boyd describes Frederick’s life. Frederick is a simple, pleasant man in jail.
He cannot sleep. Most of his life revolves around writing. Jail releases him.
Eventually he gets around to getting a full-time job.
Masserang loves the OC. The OC is an existential show about impossibly
beautiful people who live in California. It is the emptiest show I can imagine.
Everyone in the show has problems like ‘Oh no, my fingernails are too long’ or ‘Oh
no, I sleep in and will be five minutes late to work’. Niles is less glamorous
than the OC. But the real is always less glamorous.
Bussiere covers important events. Read both pieces. He tries to capture the
noise our society uses to define itself. When we are gone our misspellings, our
YouTube posts, our random comments live. Tweets will be re-discovered. Our
online presences will have curators. Hope my online presence will be in a
Scarborough connects Coca-Cola to Antarctica. Remember polar bears love Coke.
After they ate all those penguins they need a cool refreshing taste that will
never let them down. For no two penguins taste the same. Coke always hits the
spot though. Drink Coca-Cola!
Sankaran has animals visit him. He is the scourge of ants. Rats are terrified.
Shoeflowers sound beautiful. That could be a good way of supporting oneself
through growing footwear on trees. Money on trees is absurd due to currency
exchange rates. A shoe though is a good idea.
Dela wants you to stick a fork in him. Is he done? Only a fork can tell. Feel
it is time our souls gave back to soup after everything soup has done for us.
Remember listening to somebody read one of those ‘Soup for the Teenage Soul’
and he laughed hysterically at the phrase ‘Wretched Weed’ for roughly eight
Lasko learns from animals. Animals are cute. I want animals to be free. Having animals
as pet feels improper. When I see a cat with a couple of humans than maybe my
opinion will change. Happiness eludes poor Sam. Maybe he needs to move out of
Alexander looks at video games. In the future video games will be currency. The
future is bleak. Ghost animals will kill you. Avoid them. We can save animals
without having their departed souls eat the innards of our souls.
Gamalinda looks at the dog walker. The dog walker dislikes Cean. I like Cean.
Dog walkers are stupid.
Gillis watches ‘The Ugly Duckling’ in college. I watched that in Kindergarten.
I watched movies on a 3rd grade level back then. Teachers were
impressed with my ‘staring at glowing screen’ talent. Reading ‘Mix CD’ reminds
me of all the mix CDs I made for others without receiving any mix CD in return.
Steinberg has every kind of art covered. He has an artsy video. Below that is
an artsy picture of some girl’s feet. We learn Jacob hoards duck sauce. That’s
messed up. Why would Jacob do that? New York gets a negative shout-out.
Dankland waxes nostalgic about monsters. Monsters make life worth living. We
need something to defeat. A life without ambition is a life not worth living. The
monster eats people. People are monster potato chips. Some moth creature saves
humankind. For its help, the moth was given 80 million cotton shirts to
casually munch on.
Gresty moves in with a boyfriend. Together they can save money. Moving in
together is a big step. Glad they share the internet. Sharing internet is
caring. Without the internet I have problems living. Really need that sweet
Winslow discusses driving while ‘under the influence’. It is a sad life. Avoid
it. Walk home drunk. When you walk home drunk you may run into signs. At such a
slow speed it becomes funny, to hear the splat against metal. Eyes are the
window to the face.
Springer breaks it home by ending it. Displays of lists are important for any
business meeting. Crying is the new laughing. That’s what the great worldwide
recession does. Sadness takes less time and effort.
I joke about an ‘Introduction to Alt Lit’. This is because much goes on in the
community. ‘Have U Seen My Whale’ comes closest to a proper introduction with
Issue#2. Anything I would suggest (flarf, macros, video) is here.