I AM TRYING TO DESTROY SOMETHING by Bianca Shipton
a chapbook. Images add to the sense of personality. Placed in between poems of
various lengths the images add to the general mood. Neither item could exist on
its own. Geography comes up through these images. Everything comes together to
create a specific sense of place. More than anything the images give a location
for where the poems happen and why they happen. At times it becomes so
completely relatable with the body imagery that it is difficult to believe that
this is just Bianca’s life. Bianca Shipton’s ‘I AM TRYING TO DESTROY SOMETHING’
might as well be a chapbook about everyone’s experience. Little personal touches
only increase this feeling.
keeps Bianca warm. What also keeps Bianca warm is her location in Australia.
The land down under is usually fairly warm. Images of the sea indicate this as
well. Living in Australia is having a perpetual summer. Bianca states as much
with ‘everything contained by my skin is summer’. Sunscreen seeps into Bianca’s
very pores, poring over every inch of her. Protected from the sun Bianca is
free to go outside. Her destruction is limited to herself. That’s why she destroys
an unripe watermelon, just for kicks. Poor watermelon had a family to support.
Now the watermelon resides in Bianca’s stomach ready to be digested.
is huge. Clouds linger over the chapbook. Bianca introduces the weather.
Including pictures to go alongside the words makes the impact more forceful. Her
fence is destroyed. Now all sorts of crazed critters can come on into her life.
Critters come rushing in ready to destroy things like planted rows of tomatoes,
lettuce, and various veggies. While Bianca mourns the death of a beloved stalk
of celery her mother speaks. Apparently her mother rues the fact she never
taught her daughter affection. Obviously Bianca’s mother hasn’t read her
and lightning very very frightening enter through the images. Bianca lets the
pictures speak for themselves. Re-blogged excerpts state she wants to hide
somewhere. Shaking hands make that difficult. Video games offer the same
miserable weather. An MP3 plays. Someone needs to hold her hand. Nobody does.
Holding dead words close she considers the words a form of a friends, a memory
of a person gone.
moments are cherished. Bianca hears the tap next door. That’s a quiet house or
quiet apartment. Little sounds mean big things. Hearing the sounds of people
next door reminds one that there is a life outside of them. In a strange way
the sounds of a house or apartment building remind that life goes on even as
loneliness lingers. Conquering loneliness may be hard. Other times loneliness
can be a good thing helping one feel completely calm. Pictures of jellyfish confirm
that Bianca will be alone. Sometimes it is hard to be alone with one’s problems
since no one can quite understand it. Jellyfish lack problems. In fact
jellyfish have the ability to live forever, at least turritopsis nutricula
which reforms again and again. If reincarnation exists turritopsis nutricula
have mastered it.
return to Bianca. She remembers friends. Perhaps if sex ended up being a
friendly thing more people would be into it. Already it has a great appeal.
Maybe the reason people have sex is to feel wanted. There is a lot of sadness
running throughout countless minds. Misery with company is better than lonely
misery. It can be hard to conquer depression alone. A friend can make it
tolerable or even better.
comes up by the end. Bianca mentions living a long productive life by dancing
on other people’s graves. Sure dancing is a fine way to pass the time but by
doing it in a graveyard this shows death who is boss. Her stomach shivers for
it is worried about things. Once more Bianca returns to the watermelon and its
intense juice. Finally Bianca ends with telling the reader to keep on going.
And thus it ends with the hope that the reader follows her sound advice.