There I was, in my matching plaid Pajamas, doing Math homework, when I saw it. A relationship status change which changed my life lay in front of me. Part of me couldn’t believe it. I know love is a never-ending math equation, where the numbers don’t add up, but I couldn’t grasp it. Megan Boyle and Tao Lin had split up. Confused I decided to use math to determine why this had happened, but nothing, not even linear regression or taking the second derivative of love helped me.
How did this happen? We’ll never know; that’s for sure. I felt sad seeing this relationship change. The two of them seemed so sweet and adorable together. I remember seeing them in all those MDMA films, which were little funny valentines, bathed in red light, mumbled but caring. Actually I even remember seeing them at one of the premiers of those films, specifically for “Bebe Zeva”. Part of me wanted to go up to them, to shake each one of their hands and thank them for being great writers. Instead I stood by myself, awkward, wondering if I should talk to people more internet famous than myself, which is everyone.
Now I can see the bloggers circling around the split up couple. Countless blog entries are going to be dedicated to taking sides. Some will take Tao Lin’s side; others will take Megan Boyle’s side. Foul comments will come out of each camp, dreadful words meant to hurt. They’ll question the other, berate the other, post of Facebook walls, and generally create an internet-based ruckus.
I’m going to do an unusual thing I say I like them both. Yes, I’m diplomatic. Sloths are known for being diplomats as we’re not really genetically pre-disposed to fighting due to our slow pace. Each writer has a specific style. Both of them have their own reasons for splitting up and it probably was for the best. Glad to see neither one has any plans for stopping the amazing output they’ve been putting out lately.
A number of breakups have been taking place recently. First those old people from Sonic Youth and now this breakup, which hurts more. Sonic Youth are far away from me; they don’t check their twitter nor link my site on their site. Tao Lin and Megan Boyle are responsive on the internet, liking posts and such. Despite having never introduced nor even met either one of them in real life, I feel they are my friends in a way which more meaningful than many people I know in real life. That’s because their work speaks to me and lets me know I’m not alone in feeling overwhelmed by this big old crazy world. At times their writing suggests they are in the room, trying to calm me down, trying to make me feel a little less nervous about my life. That’s probably why I’m a little sad about the breakup. Obviously they are too.
Sure, I know it was for the best for reasons I’ll never understand. Love is a mysterious thing. But now I know: if I ever bump into Megan or Tao of them in real life, I’ll give them a hug and buy them some ice cream.