THE LOST TAPES OF LIVE MY LIEF – VOL. 3 – By Steve Roggenbuck
wonder if the ‘Lost Tapes of Live My Lief’ are the alt lit equivalent of ‘Now
that’s what I call music’. Lately Steve has been everywhere, traversing this
great old country via bus, train and airplane. In fact, just yesterday Steve
came out with his first song in years, entitled ‘Cornbrad Song’. Will Steve
abandon his position in the alt lit world to become a singer/songwriter? Do
singer/songwriters get more ‘sex’ than alt lit writers? I feel the answer to
that question is ‘Yes’.
Sandler comes up in the first few seconds. Steve’s in Atlanta I think. I’m a
Steve Roggenbuck discographer. That’s how I know that. I get paid no money whatsoever
for my curating efforts. I receive internet love because I’m an internet thug.
Jewel, the famous singer/songwriter (and perhaps the inspiration for his song)
comes up. Steve is a huge fan of her prolific output. Michael Hessel-Mial talks
about his sexual relationship with former President Jimmy Carter (better known
in alt lit circles as an anonymous blogging entity).
spends a lot of time in the bathrooms of Texas. I wonder why. Are bathrooms in
Texas considered holy places? I’ve never been to Texas. Not sure if I should
go. Texas seems rather unusual. A larger period of time is dedicated to
discussing shampoo brands. One shampoo style is mentioned, the alt lit habit of
shampooing one’s dickhead. This is not always a good idea. People go through
shampoo a little too quickly by doing this, wasting perfectly good shampoo.
we see some ‘SXSW’ footage. About dang time Steve delivered the goods. Breathe
Caroline plays. I want more SXSW footage though. Or maybe next year I’ll start
a Kickstarter campaign to fly myself to Austin, Texas. In exchange for
donations I’d write blog posts about people. My other offerings would be
lockets of my hair, random stuff from my room, and handwritten notes from me.
Jellyfish hangs out with Steve for a while. They are in his car, alone with
each other. Steve shows off yet another Texas bathroom. My favorite moment:
Steve throws his Gatorade bottle into a bathroom stall. It is a harrowing
moment. I think to myself: where did Steve get the money to buy a Gatorade?
Steve is poor. Gatorade is expensive. Something is not quite right here.
all good things, it ends with Grape Nuts. Steve wants to eat popped popcorn in
a ravine in hell. ‘Candyland’ is a very ‘Illuminati friendly’ board game.
last scene shows where Steve Roggenbuck will end up next. His trip doesn’t
stop. He moves from Los Angeles, to San Francisco, Portland (better known as a
twenty-something retirement community) and ending up at Frasier’s place in
Seattle. I’m rooting for Steve. Hope his next destination is paradise.