The Most Positive Night in the World
place. Going out on Friday night is overrated for there are so many internets
to explore. Steve Roggenbuck gave out shout-outs like kittens he was giving
them away. People dug the craziness of the event. During this moment people
typed too quickly online. Sometimes the pleasure of life online is so great one
must type as quickly as their heartbeat.
(better known as ‘H. Payne’) showed off his drawing skills with a game of Pictionary.
Who got the right answer? Well it was an actual internet-based sloth. The
answer was: bassed God. Beach Sloth will give away this book to the next Alt
Lit person they meet. Hobbes won the second contest with ‘Fetus maracas’. Since
Hunter was a generous man he gave one more chance because he longed to
celebrate. For the second to last it was ‘Nap Time with Mr. T’ and it went to a
public participant. A finale rocked the online world to its absolute core.
Roggenbuck busted out the poetry. Icelandic EMO music blared out of the
speakers. The sound felt highly Satanic. Evil aural auras emanated out of sunny
St. Petersburg. Followers gathered around Steve ready to hear his epic words.
Walt Whitman flowed through the mouths of frickwads. Hunter laughed manically
in the background happy to be part of this beautifully flabbergasting event.
poems came out of Steve Roggenbuck’s soul. Oftentimes there is too much love
coming out of Steve Roggenbuck. Many of these poems dealt with Jurassic Park,
with big pants, bamboo, and other forms of merriment. Justin Bieber received a ‘ton
of fuck’ or a ‘fuck ton’ of love. Unfortunately there was no truck on deck to
transport the fuck. He had to mention helping out his good friend Robin
Williams. Robin Williams needed help for a long time. Now Robin Williams rocks
out with his proverbial cock out thanks to a young frickwad from Michigan named
was defeated by Steve Roggenbuck a while ago. Heather received a lot of love
from life. Unfortunately Heather died. Heather’s death had plenty of revenge
though. Encores were popped like so many tic tacks. Ah yes the power of
darkness was well-received in Satan’s home state, Florida. Florida is the most
Satanic state in the union due to the humidity and Disneyworld. Satan is big
into Disney, particularly Aladdin and The Little Mermaid. For a finale Steve
Roggenbuck ripped out all the stops to go off the rails on a truly crazy train.
Buttercup (of McGillicuddy fame) stated “oh my god, someone touch steve’s butt
pls” to which Beach Sloth elegantly responded “Buttercup did you just type that
Alexander appeared on the internet. From the internet to the viewers’ home it
rocked many peoples’ faces off. Water kept Daniel hydrated. Hand-selected music
boosted Daniel up to another level, more than a second floor, more than a third
floor; it was like the 11th floor. Few ever see the 11th
floor. Homes rarely go home that high, even including apartment buildings. Boost
theory was explained in full detail thanks to Snack Pack’s MBA, or Masters in
Boosting Administration. To finish Daniel Alexander achieved his ultimate goal:
live on the internet. Nobody had ever experienced the power of LIL B before.
The intimate setting worked wonders for him. Admired by millions across the
world LIL B spreads good cheer like butter on bread. Yep LIL B is the based
Santa Claus. For young ones in need of happiness LIL B was there to turn frowns
upside the fuck down. Everyone believed in the importance of LIL B. Rare based
knowledge flowed out of LIL B like some sort of raging river. Neil Diamond
received an anti-shout-out for his work. LIL B was not down with Neil Diamond.
Raff appeared on cam for the benefit of everyone. Steve Roggenbuck spoke of
Riff Raff in moonlit terms. Thankfully Steve Roggenbuck met Riff Raff on a
camping trip. Yep Riff Raff helped millions of people everywhere. Hunter’s
story was even more extreme, too extreme for print in reputable blogs. Suffice
it to say Hunter ejaculated thanks to the power of Riff Raff’s persona. Out of
nowhere Riff Raff announced his shoe size to the audience.
Latifah made it for the celebration. Though she was surprisingly soft spoken
she managed to bring positive energy to the entire audience. Afternoons are the
best time of the day according to Queen Latifah. Despite the shaky connection
and the fact that her hairstyle was changing so often, Queen Latifah managed to
rock the mike in a purely symbolic metaphorical sense.
rickety rocking bands played their jams. That meant Young Egypt and Le Sphinxx.
Seemed there was a whole lot of love for Egypt. Of course everybody adored this
young Egyptians mixed with an anthropomorphic Sphinx. During the concert Steve
Roggenbuck showed a VHS cassette of ‘The Brave Little Toaster’ the best movie
ever made. For Le Sphinxx Beach Sloth uttered the worst lie ever “I’ve never seen a crocodile penis”. Obviously that is a
total lie. Le Sphinxx was lucky enough to have a Spice Worm from Dune as their
most positive night in the world ended with Beach Sloth reading to the
internet. So many times Beach Sloth listened to others. But tonight this was
Beach Sloth’s show ready to lay down a serious blog of a post. In spite of
Beach Sloth’s previous dislike for Florida, Beach Sloth grew quite fond of
Florida that very night. Beach Sloth learned how to love Florida, fragrant in
its affection for Alt Lit. Finally Florida and Beach Sloth put aside their
differences for the everlasting glory of the internet.